It’s You and Me Baby

Anyone with a spitty baby has probably had many conversations with their pediatrician about it.  Maybe you’ve tried different formulas or if your breastfeeding you’ve been told to eliminate certain foods from your diet.  Maybe your baby is even on a prescription medicine to help with the acid reflux.  Fortunately reflux gets markedly better between about 6-9 months of age.  There are 2 significant factors: 1) the muscle at the bottom of the esophagus starts to work better and 2) the other factor has to do with gravity.  Babies start rolling, pulling themselves up to stand and crawling around those ages.  Gravity helps keep food in the stomach.  Babies are not laying around in the bouncy seat and on their backs as much once they are more mobile.  Some babies spit up and their reflux is obvious.  Other babies are not as obvious.  They are fussy and reflux is considered.  Another thing that is often suggested for helping uncomfortable or spitty babies is holding them upright after a feeding.  One way to accomplish this is by wearing your baby upright (chest-to-chest) in a baby wrap or sling.  Any parent who has had an uncomfortable or spitty baby would do anything to make it better.  Give babywearing a try.

One time I had a mother say to me “my baby’s invisible.”  What she was trying to tell me was that her baby was an “easy” baby, a baby who was content, not a baby with the need for constant attention.  For example,  many babies especially newborns want to be held all the time.  They want to be soothed.  They want frequent interaction from their caregivers.  They cry a lot for no apparent reason.  Maybe they’ve even been labelled “colicky.”  Well, this mother with the “invisible baby” had the opposite situation.  The baby was not demanding of his caregivers.  It was the third baby in the family and as long as he was fed and his diaper was dry he was content to be in his carrier or bouncy seat.  In my opinion not the ideal situation for parent-infant bonding.  Even though he didn’t demand attention all babies still need it.  My solution for this mom would be to wear her son in a sling baby carrier.  Especially being a third child when the household could be quite hectic.  Infant slings give moms and dads the opportunity to keep their babies close while still being able to tend to the needs of the rest of the family.  So whether you have a “needy” baby that wants to be held all the time or an “easy” baby that is content without your constant attention give babywearing a chance.  The closeness will help build that bond.

 I recently had a conversation with a new mom about her 6-week old baby girl.  Of course the first 6 weeks are usually chaotic and the baby’s sleeping pattern is all over the place.  So at 6 weeks this new mom was talking to me about what her baby was doing.  She would sleep OK at night getting up about every 3-4 hours to breast feed but during the day she would only sleep if someone was holding her preferrably on their chest!  Fortunately the baby’s grandmother would come over and hold the baby so the mother could eat or take a shower.  The mother couldn’t understand why it was like this.  Well, this is exactly what happened with my first son and with many other children that I know of so I just had to reassure this new mom that this can be normal and the only difficulty was that it really pinned the mother down and she couldn’t get anything done.  That’s when I suggested using a baby sling carrier to keep the baby close to mom yet free up the mom’s hands to be able to move around the house, make a sandwich or go to the bathroom.  No wonder baby slings are so popular.  As long as a young infant is held upright in a chest-to-chest position like pictured above they are totally safe even at this young age.  This was very reassuring to this new mom.

 Did you realize that the process of bonding with your baby and creating a secure attachment would influence your baby’s success in life? Well, developmental experts tell us that when a baby has bonded nicely with his or her caregivers it helps baby build trust in relationships and an ability to connect with other people. In Dr. Stanley Greenspan’s book Great Kids he says, “Throughout her life, a child must be able to ‘read’ and relate to a range of people. As she grows up, this ability to connect will allow her to make friends and form a variety of relationships with significant loved ones, with casual acquaintances, and with colleagues and clients. In times of stress, she will turn to those close to her to help her feel better and find solutions to problems. Through connections with others, children and adults share the pleasures, joys, angers and sorrows of their lives.” So bonding with your child is important, not only to feel safe and secure as an infant and child but also to learn how to form healthy, successful relationships as an adult. The lessons of engagement start with the intimacy of an infant’s bonds with his or her parents. So how do you “bond”? Well, it’s a process and doesn’t necessarily start with one magical moment. Ways to bond with baby almost sound simple–see the following:

1. Talking. Even though young babies can’t repond to someone with words they can communicate. Developmentally they start with a socially responsive smile at 2 months of age!

2. Playing (games like peek-a-boo, my kids are 2 years and 4 years now and still enjoy peek-a-boo!) and singing are quite interactive.

3. Reading (even to young infants) provides a time of closeness being one-on-one.

4. Holding, caressing, infant massage, babywearing (the practice of wearing your baby in a baby sling)

Tired of hearing people tell you that you’re spoiling your baby by holding him or her? Well, we hope you can dismiss their opinions and hold your baby as much as you want. Newborns want to be held alot and it’s natural. It’s a survival instinct for them to be close to their caregivers. It’s also natural to want to hold, calm and soothe your baby. In fact, it can even give new parents a sense that they are doing a good job when they can calm their baby by holding them. Many parents have recently adopted the practice of wearing their babies in a fabric baby wrap, sling or pouch. It’s such a short time that they are so young and so little. Instead of feeling burdened by holding your baby alot you can feel satisfaction in meeting this simple early need.  Being able to have them close like this won’t last forever so take advantage of it.

All you have to do is visit the mall or a grocery store to witness the meteoric rise of baby wearing. While cultures around the world having been taking part in the practice for centuries, the trend is just starting to catch on here in the United States. For those unfamiliar with baby wearing, the manifold benefits may not be readily apparent. Here are just a few of the advantages:

~allows you to cuddle and comfort your child
~promotes a sense of security
~frees your hands to do other tasks
~helps develop social skills by exposing your child to people
~increases the bond between the child and adult

Research has proven the many benefits of babywearing. Babies cry up to 40-50% less when held.

They often nurse better and gain weight better. Being held enables mom or other caregiver to notice their baby’s feeding cues earlier before crying starts.  Crying is a late cue for hunger in babies.  And if you are able to start a feed before the baby is crying frantically usually the feeding goes better.

Babies who are called colicky or fussy often do better if the time they are carried is increased. The rocking motion and the tight swaddle effect of some carriers is just what they like.

Dads and other caregivers can also promote bonding with baby through holding and provide comfort to baby when mom needs a break.  This can be done with a baby sling.

Being carried in a baby carrier keeps babies safe.  Since they are held in your personal space strangers are less likely to touch baby and this can be great during cold and flu season to keep down the spread of germs. You also always know where they are– which is great for toddlers!

Though there are dozens, even hundreds of items you could purchase to help out a new mother in preparing for her newborn, it’s not always easy to know what to purchase. There’s always the risk that you will buy something the parents own, or that another friend or family member has bought. Here are a few gift ideas that the new mom and dad have likely not considered, but are none the less helpful:

~Changing Table - changing diapers can be one of the least pleasant responsibilities of having a newborn; anything that can make it easier will surely help out the parents!

~Clothes for 6mo-1yr ~ babies grow fast and go through clothes quickly; most people will buy clothes for a newborn, but purchasing clothes for a few months or even a year down the road will save a lot of time and money.

~Burp Cloths - these are invaluable to have for those messy feeding sessions, and when the baby happens to be a little fussy.

~Maya Baby Carrier – unlike a stroller, a Maya carrier allows you to keep your baby close to you, allowing you to ensure their safety and comfort them when they are distraught.

Who would say no to that question?  Well, consider wearing your baby in a fabric baby wrap or sling.  Wearing your baby whether at home as you go about your day or out and about helps baby and caregiver feel bonded.  With your baby held close you are more likely to talk to and engage with your baby.  Studies show that people who wear their babies respond more quickly to baby’s needs.  When baby’s needs get met quickly that builds trust.  Young babies are helpless and vulnerable.  Therefore, being responded to right away helps them feel secure.  Don’t think that you’ll spoil your baby by attending to them promptly.  Know that responding to your baby builds that bond between the two of you.

Afraid of making your child too clingy by wearing him or her in a sling carrier?  Well, children do have times when they are apprehensive about leaving their mother or father.  That’s normal.  One might assume that having your baby or toddler close to you alot by wearing him or her would make it worse.  On the contrary, children worn in slings tend to be more self-confident.  When they are worn and responded to quickly by their caregivers they learn that the world is a safe place and they form secure and healthy attachments with people.  This boost in their confidence allows them to venture out into the world with less fear.  When mom or dad return they learn that they can trust which completes the circle.